


If Not Now, Then Eventually

by spideysmjs



Series: Count to Ten [1]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Peter's POV, Slow Burn, peter's a mess but he'll learn from it, right people wrong time, this is going to be the slowest of burns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-13 15:04:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20584472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideysmjs/pseuds/spideysmjs
Summary: "He chokes up at her small gesture because he loves her so much, and the birds are chirping, and he’s with his best friends, and finals are over, and the day ends with a perfect purple-and-pink sunset, and even though he’s struggling with being Spider-Man, he knows he can be a better Peter Parker."Peter Parker goes to college, and he learns how to love himself.





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first ever Spider-Man fanfiction, so I'm a little nervous. If the description is too vague, I'm basically writing this work to preface the main story (which will be written in MJ's perspective entirely). It'll be the slowest of burns, but everything will work out - I promise. 
> 
> I'd appreciate feedback because I'm kind of new to this whole Spideychelle thing, and writing about other characters, too. 
> 
> In this timeline, Peter wasn't discovered by Tony Stark and the events of Infinity War/Endgame didn't happen. Also, Michelle didn't go to Midtown. 
> 
> Enjoy. :)

****There are precisely 3 things Peter Parker believes, accepts, and knows when he graduates from Midtown Tech:

  1. He believes in love. Not just romantic love, but all kinds of love. He loves Aunt May, the superhero of his life, the person who never fails to accept him despite his shortcomings. He loves his best friend in the entire world, Ned Leeds, who constantly defends and supports him even if they disagree over minuscule things like pizza toppings or Star Wars theories. He loves his _superfreakingintelligentandbeautiful_ girlfriend, Gwen Stacy, and there are too many wonderful sacrifices she makes for him to even list. The thing is, he believes that, even after every turn of events in his past, present, and whatever may possibly (probably) hit him in the future, there is no reason to refuse love.
  2. The biggest blessing life has given him is the spider bite. What began as something he thought to be a burden, he accepts after learning (the hard way) about both the potential strength and dire consequences of his powers. He navigates being Spider-Man, now, with ease. With or without the suit, Peter Parker recognizes it is his first responsibility to protect his favorite city in the world, even if it is the last thing he does.
  3. Because of those two things, he knows and trusts that everything happens for a reason and whenever he doesn’t understand it, he knows that one day, the universe will deliver an explanation on your doorstep. He has learned to be patient, to watch life in different lenses, and to accept the way things are because that is how they will be, no matter how much you try to change it. 

Love, Spider-Man, and fate are the three things Peter keeps close his heart when he and Ned trek their way to NYU’s orientation week, an entirely different obstacle of life that Peter has never experienced--which is a lot when you consider the multitude of criminals he’s put behind bars. 

“Dude, this is so confusing. I’ve never been prepared for anything like this before,” Ned panics behind Peter while grabbing and shaking his shoulders. Peter laughs at his best friend and turns to him.

“Ned, we’re just signing up for classes today! And listening to a bunch of boring speeches. The hardest thing we have to do is not fall asleep,” he reasons with Ned, refusing to admit that the nerves of starting college are slowly getting to him, too. 

“That’s what I’m talking about, Peter, we always fell asleep at assemblies at Midtown, how are we going to survive day one!?” 

Before Peter can think of another way to calm Ned down, an unfamiliar voice interrupts their conversation, and monotonously replies, “With a copious amount of coffee, or any kind of caffeine, I guess. Whatever you prefer.”

The dynamic duo turn to see a girl with curly brown hair, lips pursed and displaying a toothless smile. Her arms were crossed, hiding the design of her white t-shirt which Peter squints at and assumes to be Joan of Arc. 

“Uh, hi, I’m Peter.” Peter is the first to speak. Ned, still in shock because they found themselves in their first ever college introduction, nudges his friend. “That’s my friend, Ned.”

“I didn’t ask for your names.” She raises one eyebrow as her soft smile fades away and her eyes turn into daggers, yet Peter can’t seem to look away. “I’m just kidding. I’m Michelle. But my friends call me MJ.”

And just like that, a new friendship is born.

* * *

“I can’t wait for you to meet Gwen, she’s going to be staying here this weekend. I know I see her for lunch twice a week, but it’s that’s nearly not enough time! You’re gonna love her, MJ. If there’s anyone that bullies me more than you, it’s her,” Peter says ecstatically while jumping up and down the bed of his dorm room ignoring the fact that he had invited MJ over to study for their sociology class. 

“She seems cool,” MJ responds, eyes never leaving their shared textbook and hands scribbling notes. “Can you get off the bed, Parker? You’re how old again?”

He bounces one last time before landing on the floor perfectly balanced on his toes and giggles. “18 in years, but 12 in my heart.” 

“Unfortunately. Now let’s study, so we can ace our midterm tomorrow, and you can think about your girlfriend without interruption.”

The two days between Peter and Gwen reuniting pass surprisingly quickly, thanks to studying with MJ and her infamous homemade cold brew, along with a few swings around the area. During his patrols, Peter manages to prevent six car accidents, help three lost children find their parents, and stop one bank robbery. His daily schedule leaves him drained to maximum exhaustion, but the moment he sees Gwen in his door frame, he feels re-energized.

Peter and Gwen agree to spend their weekend in, since Ned graciously offered to go home for the weekend, leaving their dorm vacant of any interruption. As most broke college couples do, the two stream movies, eat high sodium instant noodles, cuddle, and have a _ lot _of sex. 

“Can I ask something?” Gwen whispers quietly against Peter’s bare chest. Hoping she didn’t feel his heart jump a beat, taken aback by the shifting tone of her voice. Peter nods and says, “yes, of course.”

“Why do we only see each other twice a week? We aren’t too far from each other and, um, well, I miss you, Petey.” Gwen’s eyes meet Peter’s, looking hesitant and disheartened. Peter thinks for a while, wondering what he could tell his girlfriend without admitting_ it’s because I’m Spiderman and I try to use most of the free time I have saving the city, and I don’t want to tell you because I don’t want you to get hurt._

“Well, uh, it’s just been hard. Adjusting, you know. College is really different from Midtown. And sometimes, I just need time to catch up on sleep. And, well yeah. I’m sorry.” The arm Peter has placed under Gwen’s neck pulls her close to his chest as he finishes rambling on about his bad time management while his mind guiltily screams _ lieslieslieswhyareyoulyingstill._

“It’s okay, Peter. I get it. You don’t have to tell me everything.” Gwen sighs. “I just wish I could be that person for you.” Before Peter could respond, he hears soft knocks on tapping against his room door, knowing it’s MJ from her signature two-three-two patterned tapping she does. He opens the door halfway and pops his head out. 

“Hey, nerd. I left my book in there and I wanna finish it this weekend since I finished midterms, so can I grab it?” Peter pulls his head in and turns back to Gwen, who smiles and gestures for Peter to let his friend in. As MJ steps in, she stops in the door frame, her eyes lingering over Peter’s body, which he pretends to not notice. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I forgot about your weekend. I’ll be quick.”

“It’s okay, MJ. Um, this is Gwen,” Peter says as Gwen gets up, and Michelle looks down.

“I apologize for not looking even halfway decent right now,” Gwen jokes as she slips into shorts and extends her hand towards MJ. 

“I’m Michelle,” she says. “Cute shirt.” 

“Oh, it’s Peter’s, and yeah, he’s kind of lame, but I also unfortunately really enjoy science puns,” Gwen giggles. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about Peter’s famous friend.” 

“The same with you, Peter Parker’s girlfriend,” MJ breathes a friendly hum. 

For a moment, silence fills the room with only the white noise of New York City’s streets filtering through the open window. Peter fiddles with his hands, glances around the room and taps his foot frantically until he grabs MJ’s book from his desk and hands it over to her. 

“Oh, right, thanks. It was nice meeting you, Gwen. Sorry again, for – interrupting,” she shrugs and walks away quickly, closing the door behind her. 

“Sheesh, I hate being so awkward. Your friend’s definitely too cool for me,” Gwen sits back on Peter’s bed. 

“Nonono, you’re not awkward. You just didn’t get to talk to her all that much for her to see how amazing you are. Maybe we’ll all hang out next time, uh, with Ned, too,” However, Peter notices Gwen’s timid expression and immediately changes the subject to discuss how his best friend never cleans his side of the room, their previous conversation already forgotten.

* * *

“Merry Christmas!” Aunt May cheerfully shouts as she opens the door for Peter, Gwen, Ned, and MJ, fashioning a poorly knit Christmas sweater and Santa hat. She lets the kids in, showering them with hugs and kisses and introducing herself to MJ, already claiming her as another one of her children, and praising her nephew for inviting her for the evening.

Peter has taken it upon himself to invite MJ to Aunt May’s Christmas dinner tradition after learning about her parents constantly traveling out of the country for business trips, even during the holidays. Although MJ didn’t seem to mind spending the holidays by herself, Peter convinced her because_ it’s Christmas,_ and everyone deserves to be with people they care about. So, MJ accepts the invitation, but not without jokingly retorting, “Bold of you to assume that I care about you and Ned.”

After finishing their plates of Aunt May’s surprisingly delicious casserole, the group shifts to the living room to exchange presents. 

Aunt May gifts Ned with a new snazzy hat to wear at college parties, claiming he has graduated from his old fedora; Gwen a new pack of headbands and bows adding onto her collection of fashionable accessories; Peter a knit sweater to match her own as well as business formal clothes for interviews when he starts applying for internships; and MJ a gift card to the coffee shop Peter mentioned is her favorite, promising to get her something more personal next year.

Ned, after explaining how incredibly out of time he was from the past semester as a computer science major, hands everyone envelopes of gift cards--the Visa ones, so they could spend it on whatever they wanted – reminding them to read the heartfelt letters he’d added as well. 

Following him, MJ vocally praises Ned for his simple gifts because she has done the same by picking socks that matched everyone’s personality: comfy, thick ankle socks for Aunt May paired with house slippers, a set of gray, white, and black thigh high socks for Gwen that go well with her cute skirts, Star Wars socks for Ned, and Spider-Man socks for Peter.

Peter smiles nervously at his pair of socks, scratching the back of his head, confused at what MJ was trying to say. He looks at his friend, who slightly frowns and squints her eyes towards him.

“It’s just that you and Ned talk about Spider-Man a lot, so I assume they’re your favorite superhero. I’m sorry if you would have rather gotten Iron Man or Thor socks or something,” she explains. Peter, Ned, and Aunt May all loosen up. 

“No, I love them. You’re right, Spider-Man is my favorite. Thanks, MJ,” he chuckles. 

Gwen gives Aunt May a bath gift set with a comment saying she can finally relax without her nephew stressing her out consistently, and Aunt May gives her a kiss on the cheek and says she’ll never not be stressed about Peter. For Ned, Gwen explains that--being a computer science major--he needs to be aware of the risks of carpal tunnel as he opens a unwraps a box containing a memory foam wrist support for when he spends his late nights coding. She turns to Michelle, lifts a package decorated in the most minimal wrapping paper Gwen thought she’d appreciate. 

“Peter told me you want to be a journalist one day, and I think you’re so inspiring. Every time we’ve talked, we’ve talked about your favorite books and role models. So I got you this.” She slides it across the floor to where they’re sitting cross-legged, and MJ smiles, with tears forming in the corner of her eyes. 

“Gwen, you really didn’t have to,” she says as she unveils _ The Source of Self-Regard _by Toni Morrison. “Thank you so much. I really appreciate this. I’m sorry all I gave you were socks,” Peter watches MJ take a deep breath before returning to her resting face.

“You’re welcome, Michelle. And don’t worry, I love them,” Gwen smiles, and Peter could not be more in love with his girlfriend, who goes the extra mile to put thought into the presents that she’s given to the people in Peter’s life, the people that she gladly welcomes in her life. “And for you, Petey…”

Peter rips open the big box excitedly, revealing a vintage film camera with a customized engraving of his name on the bottom. His heart swells and he gives Gwen the biggest kiss, whispering, “I love you so much” in her ear after parting their lips followed with an extra embrace. Aunt May, Ned, and MJ clap and gush at them.

“Okay! Finally, time for the big reveal. You know how Peter Parker does gifts in this house,” he stands up, placing his hands on his hips bragging about his amazing showcase of presents for the people he loves. 

Peter gives his Aunt May first, a “Cooking for Dummies” gag gift--receiving a well-deserved playful punch from her--followed by a bag of seeds for a variety of flowers, along with a gardening set because she’s been talking about starting a garden for so long. He turns to Ned and watches his best friends' eyes light up when he opens a vintage Millenium Falcon figure to add to his collection. After hugging, they perform their infamous handshake that causes both Gwen and MJ to exchange eye rolls making fun of their geekiness. He turns to Gwen, and hands her a small, Tiffany blue paper bag, smiling and jumping. She unveils a necklace with a heart and jewel pendant, listening to Peter praise her heart _ and _ her strength. 

“And finally, Miss Michelle ‘MJ’ Jones, I give to you, this,” Peter hands her a poorly wrapped box and a big paper bag. He sits back down on the couch tapping his legs nervously, hoping to God he gave MJ a present she’d love because even though he’d only known her for a few months, it feels like they’ve known each other forever. 

First, MJ looks into the paper bag and laughs when she pulls out three bags of coffee beans, a sticky note reading “I owe you my life for helping me in sociology and giving me all your cold brew.” She also pulls out a yellow mug with a cartoon of Gudetama, the lazy egg, drawn on it--the sticky note this time reading “I saw this and thought this is you as a mug.” And finally, she unwraps the box to reveal an empty frame with a sticky note Peter has written “for your first published _ New York Times _ article because I know you can do it” along with a small smiley face. She laughs after reading the notes to herself, clutching her heart, and using her other hand to quickly wipe away her tears.

“Thanks, Parker,” she grins at him. Peter smiles sheepishly and says, “Yes! Got it right!” pumping his fists in the air. After the two hug, the rest of the night turns into a screening of _ Love, Actually _ with Gwen and Ned blowing their noses into Kleenex because Daniel just finished giving a eulogy for his wife and it’s just _ so sad_. Gwen rests her head on Peter's shoulders and he kisses her forehead. Aunt May starts explaining that they should never watch depressing movies for Christmas, and Peter notices that MJ gets up and walks to the bathroom, decides to respect her alone time, with the thought of her walking away never leaving his mind. 

* * *

“I really hate seeing you like this, Petey,” Gwen yells through sobs, knees curled under her chin as she’s sitting in Peter’s twin bed, looking at Peter’s bruised ribs, cut lips, and a black eye. “Why won’t you tell me what happened?”

“I told you what happened, Gwen. I got mugged, but I’m fine. They only took $100 from me and roughed me up. I’ll be okay, I promise. I just need some rest.” Peter groans, heart breaking at how easily he could lie to his girlfriend of almost two years now. 

“Why don’t I feel like you’re telling the truth?” she whispers. Because he _can’t._ Because he knows that when she tells her, she won’t be able to handle it. Because before, his patrols consisted of stopping accidents and casually helping the people of New York City, but now he has to spend his first college Spring Break tracking down the Green Goblin to find his identity, to stop him and his undercover gang of criminals, and decode why the villain hates Spider-Man so _ damn much _. Because it’s all too much for him, and Ned, and Aunt May already that he didn’t have the heart to do that to Gwen. 

To Gwen, his first love, the one that he experienced everything with for the first time. Gwen, his high school sweetheart, the girl who caught his attention by answering a teacher’s physics question quicker than he could raise his hands at Midtown. Gwen, who has a future in chemistry and a wonderful job offer as a freshman at Columbia after her internship at Oscorp. She has too much on her plate already, and this Spider gig would make her drop everything for him because she loves him and he loves her, so he won’t tell her--he can’t tell her.

“I’m really tired, Gwen. I just need sleep. I’m sorry,” he murmurs. She walks away and slams the door. Peter deserves it. 

* * *

“I just don’t understand why the police isn’t a fan of Spider-Man,” Ned grumbles over breakfast with Peter and MJ at their favorite diner, with a TV displaying Spider-Man stopping a train from falling off the broken tracks that no one could explain, except Peter knows it’s Green Goblin and his thugs, but he still can’t track him down even with Ned’s “Guy in Chair” assistance.

“And the news outlets that are trying to make the whole city hate him,” MJ adds. Peter rolls his eyes. “At least he has this little fan club going, right?” 

“Right,” Peter groans in frustration, placing his head in his arms at the booth they’re in. “And Mr. Jameson keeps bugging me for pictures of him as if I’m not risking my life by doing it.”

His part-time job at the Daily Bugle is humiliating because their platform is Hating Spider-Man, and well, he _ is _Spider-Man. So, yeah.

Humiliating.

“It’s okay, loser. When I’m successful and run my own news company, I’ll make sure to put in a good word for your favorite superhero,” she reassures and puts an arm around him, consoling him with light taps. “And you can work for me, and I won’t pester you to take pictures of Spider-Man.”

“Great,” he grumbles. Ned laughs. He’s the worst. 

* * *

It’s the end of their first year, and they want to celebrate with ice cream. Peter invites Gwen, who admittedly hasn’t been a fan of being Peter Parker’s girlfriend in a few weeks. Luckily, she accepts because she loves him and she wants to make it work. He does too and ignores the conversation he had with MJ the night before.

_ “Don’t you want to make it work with Gwen?” she said looking at him from across the library table. _

_ “Of course I do, it’s just th-” _

_ “Just nothing, Parker. If you want to make it work, you’ll make it work. And I know you always look like you have something to hide, but she’s your girlfriend and if you love her, you’ll do it. You have to be open. People aren’t good at communicating only when they don’t want to be.” _

_“Right.”_

_ “Now stop crying to me about your relationship. I have to finish this final paper.” _

“Hey,” he walks away from Ned and MJ and greets Gwen with a kiss. She’s hesitant, but she relaxes into his lips. “I bought you two scoops of mint chocolate chip.”

“My hero,” she jokes. The irony hurts Peter more than he lets her know. “But I don’t like mint chocolate chip. Peter is stunned, sure that it was her favorite and that she always talks about how it’s her first option if green tea isn’t available. “You eat this, and I’ll order my strawberry ice cream.”

“I’ll pay for it, Gwen.”

“It’s okay, Peter.”

“Okay.”

The four of them sit at Central Park, enjoying the sun and the weight of finals leaving their shoulders. MJ and Gwen make fun of the two nerds discussing Azula’s characterization in the _ Last Airbender._ They exchange their favorite party experiences from freshman year, agreeing that the best story was Ned arguing with a frat guy about the fashionability of the hat Aunt May gave him for Christmas and ending the argument with “Whatever, I’m smarter than you, bitch” and stalking off

During their conversations, Gwen grabs Peter’s hand after finishing her cone and squeezes it. He chokes up at her small gesture because he loves her so much, and the birds are chirping, and he’s with his best friends, and finals are over, and the day ends with a perfect purple-and-pink sunset, and even though he’s struggling with being Spider-Man, he knows he can be a better Peter Parker. 

So he promises to himself that he’ll tell Gwen his secret the following night at dinner for their two year anniversary, and he spends the entire night losing sleep calculating all of her possible responses to the reveal. Will she be angry? _ Yes. _ Will she hate him? _ Not forever_. Will she be supportive? _ It’s Gwen, of course, she will be_. Will he lose her? _ He doesn’t know. _

He decides to shake off his nerves, to stop thinking about it because Gwen deserves better than this, but when he finally heads towards their favorite Chinese restaurant with a bouquet of sunflowers and roses to tell her that he’s Spider-Man, she’s nowhere to be found.


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Peter’s still Spider-Man, he thinks. He still gets up in the middle of the night, dons his red and blue suit, and swings around the city to help the little guy. But it’s harder. It’s more taxing. It’s the result of not wanting to do it, but feeling a moral obligation that stings his chest every time he shies away from patrolling. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets sad, then it gets a little more sad, then intense. There's a bit of fluff, and it's cute. 
> 
> I'm sorry if the ~beginning~ is not accurate to the canon; I tried my best! Let me know what you all think. This is probably the most violent/heart-racing part of the entire series, by the way.

_ To the love of my life, _

_ I know there’s a lot of things that you like to keep from me, and I never know why. I used to bother you before, but now I’ve let you do your thing. But even if this is the biggest mistake of my life, I trust you. I’ll be patient because I know you’ll tell me. Because you’re you. And it’s worked out for two years now, and I trust it will work out because it’s us. _

_ Sooo, happy anniversary you big cheeseball. I’m grateful to have survived our first year of undergrad, on our own and together. You constantly show me the benefits of persistence, responsibility, and love. I know we’ve had a rough couple of months, but if there’s anything I know, it’s that you and I can work through it and with time, it can get better. _

_ Thank you for showing me into your life, for introducing me to your wonderfully weird friends and your sweet Aunt May. For making me laugh, for making good love, and for always reassuring me that you’re here for me, even when you can’t physically be. You always make me feel confident and remind to love myself, and it’s so damn sweet of you, Peter Parker, but you need to do this for yourself, too. _

_ Breathe. Take your time. Put yourself first. You don’t always have to be there for everybody else, especially when you forget to take care of yourself along the way. You’re human, too. _

_ I love you Petey. _

_ All the love,  
_ _Gwen Stacy _

Peter reads her last letter and sobs. Then he reads it again and again and again, until tears begin to blur his vision, and he can feel his heart physically breaking with pain traveling up and down his arms, realizing that this is the first time Peter’s ever hated that his senses are always dialed to 11. 

It’s his fault. 

After noting her absence from their planned date, Peter knew something was wrong. He sensed it, from the combination of his powers and knowledge that Gwen would never stand him up or be more than 10 minutes late to anything ever. 

He quickly switched into his Spider-Man suit and webbed to Oscorp, where Gwen would have left before heading to their dinner. He scans the area, looking for any sign of fowl play until a glimmer of light hits his eyes and he follows the reflection to a silver gift bag left carefully on the curb, with a letter for “Peter Parker” and a gift inside. He panicked. He grabbed the gift and webbed it to the side of the building. 

He shot his web and scaled the side of Oscorp until he reached the roof looking at all directions. From the corner of his eyes, he saw a small figure surfing the sky with another body in its grasp, headed for the Brooklyn Bridge. Immediately, Peter swung through the city and headed for that direction, moving faster than he’s ever gone, the figure slowly becoming bigger the closer he approached it. 

The Green Goblin turned and noticed Spider-Man chasing after him and picked up his speed. “What’s wrong Spider-Man?” he laughed maniacally. “You care about this girl?” 

Between breaths, Peter managed to respond, “I care about everyone in New York and the world, but who’s counting?”

The Green Goblin tightened his grip around Gwen, and she screamed louder as they stood on the top of the Brooklyn Bridge. Before Peter’s web-shooters could even aim at his body, the Green Goblin spread a sinister smile across his face as he loosened his arms causing Gwen to plummet towards the ground. 

Gwen’s cries for help echoed in his ears as Peter jumped towards the area where his enemy once stood. He shot a web down to catch her, thanking his Spidey powers as the web caught her chest and shot her back to him. 

“Oh, Gwen, thank God,” he said. He carried her in his arms, moving the hair from her face. But she didn’t respond. “Wait. This isn’t right. I saved you. No.” He shook her body. “Gwen.”

“She was dead before you could catch her, you fool. No one could survive a fall from this height!” Green Goblin hissed. 

“You killed her. You killed the woman I love.” The Green Goblin hovered over the area before speaking out again.

“You get in the way of my underground business and I kill everyone else that you love,” he snarls and flies away, leaving Gwen’s lifeless body in Peter’s arms. 

Everything else happens too fast. bringing Gwen Stacy’s body to the police station, delivering the news to her parents, her parents sobbing furiously, the news stations bombarding her funeral. 

The people of New York could never think it was Spider-Man’s fault. It was an accident, a _ murder _ by Green Goblin, and Spider-Man did everything he could. Everyone believes this - everyone except for Peter Parker.

* * *

Five months pass and the road to recovering from Gwen’s demise is dreadful and disheartening, but with Peter’s past experiences with death, the healing process isn’t much different than from his parents or Uncle Ben. He continues to remind himself he did everything he can this time around, which makes him feel only slightly less guilty.

MJ sits next to him in his new room, with the apartment that he and Ned leased for their second year at NYU. As the autumn winds breeze through the windows, she places a blanket around him, and tilts her head towards him, asking “How are you doing today?

“MJ, it’s okay, you and Ned don’t have to watch over me,” Peter says. “I’m feeling a lot better.”

MJ slings her arm around his neck. “I know it’s hard to look at the news and see Spider-Man sometimes, and want to beat them up and probably hurt yourself doing so since it's Spider-Man and all... But it seems like they feel bad, too. I watched the interview. They really did all they could. I just care about you a lot, and I hope you know that, Peter.” 

She has no idea.

“Thank you. I care about you too, so I hope you’re okay since it’s kinda weird that you’ve been a lot nicer to me lately.”

“Well, once you get back on your feet completely, I’ll go back to bullying...weirdo,” she laughs. Peter rests his head on her shoulder, letting her coconut-scented hair fall in front of his face. He takes another deep breath. 

“I feel like I’m forgetting how to talk to people. Like, they’ll ask me how I am and my mind goes blank, and all I want to do is just run away, or cry, or yell.”

“Well, you know what I’d do in a situation like that?” she mumbles. Peter lifts his head up from her shoulders, and when he looks at MJ, and he just knows she’s trying for him from the way her eyes well up the moment they make eye contact and the fact that she constantly shares tidbits of advice that Peter really does try to use.

“I count to ten. I start with one, and list all of the thoughts in my head, as a way to assess whatever I’m going through. It works, and I feel better after. Maybe you should try it.”

“Yeah, maybe.” He offers her a trying smile, a sign of progress, something to let MJ know that with her around, life’s been a little bit easier.

They spend the rest of the day in silence with MJ making Peter tea (not coffee, because they’ve learned it makes Peter feel even worse) and dinner, which lately she’s insisted on doing as a thank you for letting her crash there when she feels too lonely in her one-bedroom apartment - which is often.

When Ned comes home from his late class, the three of them sit on their hand-me-down dinner table and eat in comfortable silence until Ned sneaks in a suggestion of having a game night, which they agree to. After dinner, they spend a few hours taking turns between Cards Against Humanity, Mario Kart, or Uno, and there’s nothing else that Peter would rather be doing right now because, for the first time in five months, he slowly starts to remember how to be human. 

* * *

“I cannot believe you nerds are making me fucking do this,” MJ whines, looking at herself in the bathroom mirror and glaring at the two tight buns on the sides of her head and the all-white robes. “I look like a weird space priest.” 

“It’s space _ princess_, MJ, and don’t worry - you look perfect,” Ned reassures her, wearing khaki pants, a white long sleeve, and a brown vest. “You didn’t have a costume idea, and you’re kind of the perfect addition to our dynamic duo because now we’re a trio and you know that all legendary groups in fictional movies come in threes!”

“Harry, Ron, Hermione,” Peter adds an example, and Ned follows.

“Aang, Katara, Sokka.”

“Bubbles, Blossom, Buttercup.”

“Alvin, and the two other Chipmunks.”

“And Han, Luke, and Leia,” Peter concludes by gesturing towards their costumes. 

“Alright. Just so you know I was planning something but didn’t have enough time, which is a situation you both were oddly prepared for, and I guess it’s not too bad being associated with you guys.” Peter and Ned laugh, agreeing because MJ rarely complimented their group dynamic and although it isn’t outright, the two know it’s one of the sweetest things she’s ever allowed herself to say about them.

The three show up to a crowded apartment four blocks down, and a sudden weight strains Peter’s chest preventing him from going inside as Ned runs to greet his friends from his major. He stares at the haze of smoke and sweat spotlighted by a neon blue string light wrapped around the living room ceiling. He’s forgotten how to socialize in a mass scale because for the past five months, he has only associated himself with Aunt May, Ned, and MJ.

Somehow, MJ notices a change of his excited attitude and brushes her hand against Peter’s. He turns right and faces her, nodding as a _ thank you _ for encouraging him that it’s okay. He remembers MJ’s advice about counting to ten and follows it. Although he may have counted too quickly or probably did the whole thing wrong, he feels better because MJ knows how he feels without even asking.

When the two walk in, they notice Ned talking...no not talking, but _flirting _with a blond girl dressed as a nurse with her “guts” spilling out of her stomach which terrified Peter on how realistic and totally awesome that was. They reach the counter with the drinks, MJ already concocting a mixed drink for the both of them, pouring more vodka than what Peter thinks is the appropriate amount, but when he tastes it, it tastes like juice. 

“MJ, if your attempt at journalism ever fails, you should open up a store that’s a coffee shop in the day and a bar at night.”

“Maybe I’ll hire you as my busboy since you can’t seem to pass your midterms,” she quips.

“Ouch.” She nudges her arm against his playfully and Peter pretends like it’s injured him. They lean against an empty space on the wall and observe the absurdity that is a college house party. 

An hour and two MJ cocktails later, the two have created a game to see who could find the most ridiculous situation unfolding and MJ’s up to two points for seeing Ms. Pac Man yelling at Pac Man for flirting with what looks to be a poorly stitched Captain America costume. With alcohol creeping into his blood, Peter decides to do something he can’t measure the consequences of for right now.

“MJ, this party is terrible, and it’s my first night going out since, you know, and I think I’d rather be doing something el-”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“Yes. Let’s do something else. Let’s get out of here.” Peter feels his heart pound faster. He can’t tell if it’s from the heat of the room mixed with immeasurable amounts of vodka or MJ’s lack of hesitation to run away with him, but before he knew it, his hand intertwines with hers and they make their way out of the drunken crowd letting Ned know before they head out the door.

They run through the quiet streets of New York after midnight with no idea what direction to go. After about 10 minutes, MJ comes to a stop, places her hands on her knees, and catches her breath. Peter does the same, but only to hide his super-endurance.

“Okay, Parker, what do you want to do tonight?” she inquires, breathlessly.

“Hmm...my life’s just been...a lot lately, and uh, I kind of want to mark today as maybe a promise that I’m going to get off my ass and start being happy again.”

“You know what they say. Low points in life can be solved by a drastic change.”

“MJ, I’m not going to shave my head. And I don’t think that’s a healthy coping mechanism.” 

“It doesn’t have to be your hair! It can be anything. Physical, symbolic. Piercing, tattoos, throwing something in the river as a symbol of letting go of the past. Anything.”

That’s how Peter ends up on a tattoo chair in a shop, waiting for MJ to get her nose stud. He decides on something small, an etching on his hip, a place vulnerable enough that only he can see it. 

_ for myself _

20 minutes later, MJ walks to Peter, freshly pierced with a stud on her left nostril. “What’d you get?”

“Something for myself.” Peter smiles, and MJ doesn’t ask any follow-up questions. MJ, as Peter noticed, always gave him space for being private. The two never pried each other for answers when things went sour. Their friendship grew on a foundation of, 'if we want you to know, we'd tell each other. If not now, then eventually.'

The two end their night in his living room, with Jamie Lee Curtis screaming at Michael Meyers on a low volume and MJ resting her head on Peter’s shoulder. No one has said a word in a while, and Peter’s satisfied with the white noise and their breathing occupying the silence. 

“MJ?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you. For today. I think it’s the first time I feel like I can actually move on.” She looks at Peter, eyes softening.

“You’re welcome, nerd.” She repositions herself on his shoulders again, and Peter presses his nose atop her hair and grazes a soft kiss to the top of her head, which earns a reply, "You corny ass."

They fall asleep before the movie ends, with MJ’s head on Peter’s thigh, and his hands carefully placed on her shoulder.

* * *

Ned and MJ are sitting at their usual spot in her favorite coffee shop, when Peter runs up to them with someone they had never seen before. It’s the new year, and MJ swears she’ll go back to brewing her own coffee, but it’s rude to not use the second gift card Aunt May gifts her (along with rose gold bookends for her collection and a new blazer). 

“Hey guys,” Peter says. “This is Harry Osborn. I met him today at the Stark Internship orientation.”

“Osborn...as in Oscorp’s Osborn?” Ned gasps, eyes widening from shock. Harry laughs and nods. “Then, wait, why are you interning for Tony Stark?”

“I’m not bound to my father’s company _ all _ the time,” he jokes, but somehow Peter can tell there’s a bit of sadness to his answer. Peter moves the conversation forward, introducing Ned and a summary of his interests followed by MJ.

“This is MJ, she has a knack for writing, reading, well-thought-out insults, and strangely, making really great drinks - alcoholic or non-alcoholic.”

“Hi MJ,” Harry smiles. Without moving her head away from the newspaper she’s reading, MJ darts her eyes up and looks at him.

“It’s Michelle, actually.” She responds, formally. It’s not rude or short, but it makes Peter laugh because even someone as charming and smooth as Harry has to experience the initial intense introduction from Michelle Jones. “Only my friends get to call me MJ.”

“Well, hopefully, I’ll get to that soon enough.” He pulls a chair to sit next to MJ, grabbing her paper, and examining it. “Is this _ The Daily Bugle? _Their papers aren’t very reliable, you know. They trash on Spider-Man every chance they get.”

“That’s why I read them. I like acquainting myself with satire and fake news. It humors me.” 

“Oh, then you must be really intelligent. Not everyone can be smart enough to discern what’s real or fake.”

“Tell me about it. Try being friends with these gullible idiots.” Ned frowns and Peter stiffens. He didn’t really expect the act of introducing _his _new friend to his _best _friends to feel like this, but to his defense, he didn’t really think about the expectations. “You’re intelligent for thinking I’m intelligent.” She giggles. “Maybe you can call me MJ sooner than you think.” 

"I'll be making a mental note of you saying that in my head, _Michelle_." They both chuckle.

A quick silence. Ned coughs. Peter sits down on a chair next to him and watches Harry and MJ quip back and forth for the entire one hour and twenty-two minutes they spend at the cafe.

And yes, he kept checking his phone every 10 minutes to count.

* * *

All he remembers is that whatever they were doing started the night of Halloween, when MJ was too tired to go back to her apartment and it was a little cold, too. But once in a while, Peter and MJ would fall asleep on his living room couch in the middle of a movie night while Ned was too busy going out with Betty, the zombie nurse he had met that same night it all began.

It started off innocent, MJ’s head would fall in his lap and naturally, he would massage her head or trace his fingers on her shoulder. And it wouldn’t happen all the time, just the nights when MJ would ask if she could crash and Peter would delightfully accept. He didn’t think of it as anything at first, just friends being platonically affectionate. Until it was Valentine’s Day, and the two were left alone again.

There are two glasses of red wine on the table, already refilled three times. Peter and MJ swore off Valentine’s Day this year because Peter wasn’t ready to be involved with anyone and MJ, well she just didn’t care about the mushy-gushy holiday created for corporations to gain even more money. So, they spent the night together and bought a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine for the uh, irony of it.

The movie of choice for their night is _ Celeste and Jesse Forever _ because MJ hates romantic comedies, but Peter gushes over them, so they compromise and select something that’s not too unrealistic - according to MJ.

There’s a little buzz in Peter’s stomach, and he stretches his legs out to the coffee table. MJ moves from his lap and looks at him. 

“You can lay down on the couch too, you know,” she mumbles nervously, fiddling with her fingers. Peter looks at her, not really being able to read her face for any emotion, as usual. 

“Oh, um. Okay. Thanks.”

The two reposition themselves, and the back of MJ’s head is now on Peter’s chest and their legs are intertwined, and this is just what best friends do, right? The movie’s nearing the end, and he can hear sniffles of MJ trying to hide the fact that she cries at movies like this.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” She turns her body so they’re facing each other. The entire room feels hot, and Peter’s ears are burning. She doesn’t answer. All she does is stare at him, eyes still watering. Then, after closing her eyes she quickly pecks his lips, leaving Peter stunned. “Oh.”

“Oh my god. I’m sorry,” she freaks out and jumps from their comfortable entanglement. “Um, let’s pretend that didn’t happen… and um, yeah. You know Valentine’s Day. People feel lonely, even me. Me when I'm three glasses of wine in. And. It was just a moment of weakness. I’m sorry it made you uncomfortable.” she rambles on as she’s adjusting her blazer and slipping onto her boots.

Before he could even process his own thoughts, MJ’s out the door, and she doesn’t talk to Peter for like two whole weeks. 

And he hates it.

* * *

Peter’s still Spider-Man, he thinks. He still gets up in the middle of the night, dons his red and blue suit, and swings around the city to help the little guy. But it’s harder. It’s more taxing. It’s the result of not wanting to do it, but feeling a moral obligation that stings his chest every time he shies away from patrolling. 

So, when he climbs out of the window of their small living room apartment and Ned, who’s up finishing his codes, asks, “Are you sure you wanna do this Peter?” he ignores his best friend and swings away. 

He still hasn’t found Green Goblin but doesn’t ignore how the fact that his enemy’s crimes are no longer mainstream after the night that Gwen Stacy died, which Peter knows is an important detail needed to solve the mystery of the Green Goblin’s identity. 

Sometimes, when he thinks he’s close to an answer, he gets thrown off. But tonight, as he’s sitting at the edge of Oscorp, he hears a loud crash on the 8th floor of the building. With subtlety, Peter crawls to the window, stares into the dark office, and clears his head so his senses work with him to hear the conversation.

“Sir, I still think we need to stay underground. We can’t let Spider-Man come close to catching us again,” a hooded figure responds to a man in an all-black business suit. 

“We are staying underground, idiot. Using the Green Goblin to threaten other businesses will help; we’ve done it before. And Spider-Man won’t touch us if he tried. We’ve found his weakness.”

“Throwing people off the Brooklyn Bridge shouldn’t become a routine, not even for us. We have to be smart. You shouldn’t be operating during working hours, or your family will start to figure it out too,” Peter winced, rage filling his body, holding himself back from killing that man right there and then. 

“Do as I say. And don’t let my son find out. Or you’re fired from Oscorp. And you don’t really want to lose your job, do you?”

“No, Mr. Osborn.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Peter’s heart races. It’s Norman Osborn.


	3. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"In short, Peter was a mess. "_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things i've learned writing fanfic for the first time:
> 
> \- figuring out pacing is really hard  
\- getting into characterization is also very hard  
\- lots of plans for storytelling change as you go
> 
> that's why i've added one more chapter for peter's prologue! note that i've also changed the title and a few of the tags as well. i've been having a rough time with writer's block.
> 
> also, i would appreciate comments!! anything would be great so i can reflect on my writing. 
> 
> xoxoxo

****Peter didn’t mean to prolong the silence between him and MJ, really. He was dying to talk to her, dying to tell her it was okay - that he liked the kiss, that it was possible he wanted more, but responsibility got in the way. 

For two weeks, Peter and Ned cracked down on creating a master plan of locking Mr. Osborn up and exposing his underground network of criminals. Within those weeks, they learned from their good friend Harry that his father’s going on a business trip at the end of April, which coincides with the emails that exposed Norman’s plans to “collaborate” with a business partner that Ned graciously hacked. They also realized that Harry had no idea what his father was doing, which is reminiscent of the very heartbreaking moment Peter discovered his homecoming date, Liz, was the daughter of Mr. Adrian Toomes. It’s just bad luck, really. 

On top of that, Peter had to balance the Stark Internship spring engineering project, bringing up his GPA from a tragic fall semester, and his part-time job as a photographer for the Daily Bugle.

In short, Peter was a mess. 

So, when he finds time to purchase a pint of green tea ice cream and knock on MJ’s apartment door to discuss the matter of That Kiss, he accepted the defeating answer that he received on the other end.

“Thanks for the ice cream, Parker. But really, just forget what happened,” MJ says, arms crossed in her doorway, impatiently tapping her foot waiting for Peter to leave.

“You don- you don’t want to talk about it?” he frowns. 

“Not really. I forgot it even happened. I also kind of forgot you existed because you’ve been disappearing a lot lately.”

“Oh.” Peter looks down. He knows he deserves to be treated this way, and the worst part is not being able to explain why; to always keep secrets from the very friends that inspire him to do what he does as Spider-Man. “Well, take the ice cream. It was the last pint of green tea at the bodega, anyways.”

“Did you have anything else to say?” MJ’s body relaxes as her head tilts. 

“Life’s just been a little hard.”

“Well, not to say a cliche right now because God knows they’re annoying, but you’re biting off a little more than you can chew.” She swings the door open to let Peter in, and they move over to her little dinner table accompanied by two matching chairs and one dingy computer chair that Ned offered to bring so they could stop taking shifts at the couch whenever they decided to study at MJ’s. Once seated, Peter decides to examine his fingernails and ignore MJ’s intense glare.

“You really need to think about your responsibilities and learn how to prioritize. And sometimes the priority should be yourself. You think you’re doing great, but you can’t be great at everything if you’re doing everything all at once.” 

Peter looks up at her, and his heart sinks because she’s right, as always. 

“And because you’re trying to do everything, you’re forgetting how to be yourself. You know, you, the one with a good heart that cares about others. We didn’t talk for two weeks, and I really expected you to talk to me because it’s you. And yeah, okay, I should have said something too, but you can’t really blame me when you stopped studying with Ned and me.”

Peter stays quiet because now they’re exchanging eye contact and her words pierce his heart because he can’t even defend himself without exposing the very thing that he needs to keep a secret. 

“And the kiss, well. I’m sorry, okay? I know you’re still grieving over Gwen...and it was just Valentine’s Day. And yes, even someone like Michelle Jones can feel lonely. But you better not tell Ned and ruin my reputation.”

“It’s okay, MJ. You shouldn’t even be doing any apologizing here.”

“Have you eaten?”

“What?”

“You know, the thing you do to stay alive and focused?”

On cue, his stomach growls, angry that Peter no longer provides it with constant sustenance. With zero hesitation, MJ removes herself from the dining table and walks towards her kitchen. After a shuffle of metal utensils mixed with the blaring noise of her microwave stops, she returns with a plate of takeout and places it in front of Peter. She returns to reading her book across the table and places her feet on Peter’s lap. 

“So, friends?” he asks nervously.

“The best,” MJ slips a smile that can easily be missed if you aren’t paying attention, but Peter luckily catches it. The tension between the two disappear, and the weight on Peter’s shoulders feel a tad lighter than before. 

* * *

It’s a requirement for each intern to meet with Mr. Stark at least once a quarter, and of course, as always, Peter stalls until the last minute. It’s the end of March, and he’s sitting impatiently in the foyer waiting for the secretary to finish her phone call with Pepper Potts. As she hangs up the phone, she calls Peter over, and sends him to the top floor of the tower.

On his way to Stark’s office, Peter examines his surroundings: each frame, certificate, item placed carefully in the hallways. He almost feels the presence of every Avenger that he’s looked up to since the Battle of New York many years ago. _ Maybe one day _.

The closer Peter walks towards the end of the hallway, the faster his heart pulsates. He hadn’t met Tony Stark, and this meeting is probably going to be brief, but Peter can’t help but feel as if he’s going to be removed from the internship because of how terrible he’s been at the internship compared to his peers.

He swings the door open to see Tony Stark leaning against the desk. 

“Hey kid,” he greets Peter. 

“Uh, hi. I know I’m probably the last meeting of the quarter.”

“That you are. Peter Parker right?” He shakes his hand and Peter nods. “Heard a lot of reports about you from Miss Potts, actually.”

“Really?”

“Says you’re always running late, not really engaging with the other interns, and you’re always the last one to turn in project reports.”

“Oh, yeah… Listen, Mr. Stark, I understand if you’re thinking of letting me go. I’m not doing the best and-”

“She also said you’re always the first to ask questions, your project reports are the most detailed, and you catch up easily. Don’t worry, Mr. Parker, we’re not letting you go. Just wondering if there’s anything that’s on your mind that you want to talk about?”

Peter lets himself think for a minute about a way to ask Iron Man how to balance all the work he does while being a fucking superhero, but he stops himself because it’s really just not the right time to expose his identity as Spider-Man.

“My girlfriend, Gwen, died last year. And uh, I have a lot of other...responsibilities...that are hard to really keep up with. I guess I just have to learn how to manage my time a lot more.”

“Right, I heard about that on the news, I think. Weird shady business trades going on underground, and she was caught in the fire. I try to keep up with the news, but nothing’s been on the Avengers radar in a while. And I’ve heard Spider-Man’s been on top of that.”

“He is! I mean, I would assume so. I hope so. I don’t know.”

“Right.” Mr. Stark furrows his brows and sits back down behind his desk. 

“Right.” 

“Well, Mr. Parker, I’ve been in that same boat of grief and..._ responsibility _...and if there’s anything I could tell you, is that you can’t be there for everyone all the time. The possibility of a threat eats me up alive every day. I’ve had my downfalls. I start anew. Clean slate. Maybe you should think about it.” 

“Maybe.”

“You’re doing outstanding work here, Parker. Keep it up. Things like tardiness are small. But maybe think about changing your habits if you want an offer here later on.”

“Oh. Okay. Yes. Thank yo-”

“Also, don’t be afraid to reach out to others who might have the hang of things that you need help with.”

“Right. Thank you, Mr. Stark.”

“Sure, kid. See ya.”

* * *

The gang has a movie night for the first time in months, after MJ angrily convinces everyone to get their head out of their asses and at least _ one night _trying to convince each other that their dynamic hasn’t changed since their first year at NYU, but that fact is just the elephant in the room waiting to be called on by whoever’s brave enough to admit it first.

Ned brings his now-official girlfriend, Betty Brant, for the first time, and to no one’s surprise, she fits right in and helps stabilize the chaotic trio. She brings homemade brownies, with no peanuts, then makes a joke about Ned needing to grow up because of his allergy. 

“So, we’re going to watch an anime today: _ Your Name," _Peter says as he pulls up a stream.

“Why are you always trying to watch depressing shit, bro?” Ned frowns. Peter shrugs and continues to pull up the movie. They sit in their respective spots: Peter and MJ on the bigger couch with her head on her lap, and Ned on the slightly smaller couch, cuddling with Betty. 

Engrossed in the film, Peter only realizes halfway through the constant buzzing of MJ’s phone, and slight disinterest to the movie. He attempts to ignore it, but the moment he notices a message from _ Harry Osborn,_ he excuses himself from the couch and mumbles about drinking too much water earlier that day.

The idea of Harry and MJ texting doesn’t escape his mind. He wonders what they talk about, wonders if they talk often or maybe it was just this one time, wonders if MJ sends him music recommendations or quotes from books that make her feel, as she’s told Peter before, like a mere speck in the vast universe. He shakes his head from the thought that MJ could be replacing him as a best friend because no, she could never do that. 

It’s MJ and Peter, Peter and MJ. He walks back out to the living room to witness Betty tearing up and Ned blaming Peter.

“Missed you, Parker. Movies aren’t fun when my big head isn’t stopping the blood flow on your thigh.” He chuckles. 

“Head rest, at your service Miss Jones.” This time, he plays with her hair and hears her hum. When the movie ends, she looks up at Peter with a sleepy smile and takes a deep breath. As the group decides on a _ happier film _to watch, MJ catches Peter by surprise.

“So, is it cool if Harry comes for the next screening?” she asks, casually, looking at both Peter and Ned. Ned, with no stealth, gapes at her question but shuts his mouth after and nods. The two look at Peter for his response, MJ with a casual glance and Ned with a worried pout.

“Sure, yeah that’s- that’s fine. Cool, even. Harry’s cool,” Peter says. “He can pick the next movie.”

“Sweet, thanks losers.” 

20 minutes later, Harry arrives with kettle corn and a grin that makes Peter want to gauge his eyes out because, within those minutes of waiting, he’s concluded that MJ and Harry text more than just this one time because Harry greets her as _ MJ, _and his heart breaks.

And it breaks when he listens Harry selects a cheesy, slightly problematic comedy and MJ makes no comment. And it breaks when MJ’s head isn’t on his lap anymore because she’s sitting straight on the couch with her hands digging in Harry’s stupid bag of kettle corn. And it breaks when he hears them whispering and joking about the movie because even though they’re whispering, with his senses he can hear everything. 

And for the first time _ ever_, Peter Parker hates movie night. 

* * *

From that point on, Harry joins their group until further notice. It sucks because Peter enjoys Harry’s company - Harry’s his friend, his partner at Stark Industries, and a cool guy. But he hates Harry _ with MJ. _

Because the thing is, when Harry’s not around, MJ is Peter’s best friend still. She plays with his hair, teases him, gives him her leftovers, and gives him advice that, unbeknownst to MJ, helps Peter balance his normal life and Spider-Man.

But when Harry’s there, MJ acts slightly different. She laughs more, she fixes the fringe of hair that keeps her guarded, she teases Peter (and Ned, even) less, and doesn’t really give Peter the time of day.

It’s weird. He tells Ned it’s weird. Ned agrees, but brushes it off like nothing,

“I mean Harry’s a cool dude, I find myself a little more talkative when I’m around him and I never stop talking.”

True. But it bothers Peter for all of April. 

* * *

The thing is, Peter and Ned never meant to hurt Harry when they figured out a way to lock up his father, the Green Goblin. 

It was the end of April when Norman Osborn was caught red-handed, threatening a nonprofit to give up their hard-earned, fundraised money and shut down their organization. Spider-Man saved the day, locked him up indefinitely, and exposed his crimes to New York City. 

Harry’s devastated, but he doesn’t show it. He takes the mantle as head of Oscorp with confidence and promises to clear the company’s name. He promises the city that Oscorp is down until he tracks every worker linked to the Green Goblin’s underground network. He drops out of NYU, quits the Stark Internship, and he spends less of his days with the group because he’s thrown into the company that his dad left behind and betrayed.

Peter feels like shit about it, despite the fact that Ned convinces him he did the right thing, and the guilt just never stops, the anxiety never stops, and the idea that he’s hurting more than he helps never stops.

* * *

It’s the middle of summer, and Peter’s relieved because he didn’t fail spring semester, he advances as team leader for his internship, he’s getting good shots (or selfies) of Spider-Man for the Daily Bugle, and he wants to celebrate but his best friends are too occupied. 

Ned’s visiting his family in the Philippines and MJ decided it was time to see her parents, currently in the Netherlands for the first time since she left for college, so he spends most of his days with Aunt May. 

“This one is my favorite one,” she points at the Marantaceae plant in the makeshift garden in the corner of their apartment where she’s moved the furniture around for. She talks on and on about the different plants she’s housed since Peter’s Christmas present from two years ago, the present she’s deemed as the gift that keeps on giving. “But anyways, Peter, what’s been up? You don’t call me as often, so I figured you’re busy healing from the past year.”

Peter tells her everything that she’s missed. The Green Goblin, Harry Osborn, his terrible performance as Spider-Man as of late, his weird relationship with MJ, and she stops him.

“Oh, sweetie,” she uses one hand to cup his cheek. “You need to learn how to put yourself first, sometimes.”

“So I’ve been told,” he chuckles.

“Life is all about the give and take. You’re giving too much, and taking too little. You can still be a hero to the people around you, even if you can’t be a hero to everyone in New York City.”

* * *

_ MJ: I saw this bird near the Van Gogh museum and it reminded me of you. _

Peter: really? how?

_ MJ: It was really small and mighty. _

Peter: ouch.

_ MJ: It was a really cute bird, loser. _

Peter: aww :)

* * *

Peter: aunt may misses you

_ MJ: I know, she texts me all the time. _

Peter: what!?

_ MJ: We have a two-person book club. Keep up, Parker. _

* * *

_ MJ: [picture] Is this reusable coffee cup a good gift for someone who's always on the go? _

Peter: yeah i would think so. the decorations add a nice touch.

_ MJ: Buying it then. Harry’ll love it. _

Peter: [Read at 1:03am]

* * *

**Ned: You nervous for your date bro?**

Peter: kind of but i think i’ll survive 

**Ned: Just say you’re Spider-Man, that’ll change everything!!**

Peter: no thanks coz u know spidey’s not doing the best right now

**Ned: Exactly! Don’t go on the date Peter because you know who you’re meant to be with**

Peter: shut up

Peter: and you know she likes somebody else

* * *

_ MJ: So I heard you went on a date? _

Peter: maybe………. 

_MJ: It’s good you’re putting yourself out there again._ _How was it? _

Peter: i have another date with her next week

_MJ: Cool_

* * *

_ MJ: Happy birthday Peter Parker. Thanks for being a kickass friend. Sorry I can’t be there to celebrate! _

Peter: thanks MJ. celebrate when you come back :D

* * *

**Ned: Coming home in two days!! I have lots of snacks for you and let’s binge watch something when I get back. I miss doing nothing.**

**Ned: How was your third date with that girl?**

Peter: i think it was the last one. she was a bit aggressive

**Ned: oh ;)**

Peter: ned stop 

* * *

Peter: ned’s back from the philippines!!! we just need you now to be complete again

_ MJ: I’ll be back right the week before fall semester!! _

Peter: please come sooner, betty and ned keep kissing in front of me and it’s getting kinda gross

_ MJ: That makes me want to extend my vacation. _

* * *

_ MJ: so no more dating that girl? did she bite you too hard? _

Peter: i’m gonna kill ned

_ MJ: lol _

* * *

Peter: tomorrow!!!!

_MJ: Tomorrow is Sunday. _

Peter: LOL. need me and ned to pick you up from the airport?

_ MJ: It’s okay, I have someone getting me already. _

Peter: oh ok. cool cool cool

* * *

It was the beginning of the fall semester already, and MJ still hadn’t made plans with Ned or Peter.


	4. chapter four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brace yourselves! it's a long one. 
> 
> and i'll get started on the next part of the series very soon. 
> 
> thank you all for joining me on this wild journey and hope you all stick with me for michelle's point of view!

“And we tried chasing the jeepney down the street but then it started RAINING out of nowhere, thinking abou- Peter? Are you even listening to me right now?”

He isn’t listening to Ned, and he doesn’t feel guilty because all he’s thinking about, all that’s on his mind is the gut-wrenching idea that for the first three weeks of junior year is how he’d only seen MJ twice a week instead of every day like he used to. 

The gang wasn’t the same after the summer, and he couldn’t really understand why; couldn’t pin it down. He first thought it was because he went on a few dates during the summer, and for some reason, Ned had exposed his whereabouts, but even Peter couldn’t be mad because there was nothing to hide. Maybe it was Harry Osborn and the way he and MJ had gotten particularly closer when the year started after he picked up MJ from the airport. Maybe it was the combination of both of those which made Peter want to bang his head against the table of diner he, Ned, and the gang frequented. 

“No,” he answers his friend. Ned rolls his eyes knowing exactly what Peter would be talking about, and while Peter did feel guilty for constantly rambling on about MJ and Harry, he couldn’t help himself. 

“Dude, if this is about Harry and MJ, I _ really _think you should just leave it alone. They’re not dating.” 

“It doesn’t look like that.” 

“Well, that’s what it is. I’m sure if they dated, they would tell us. Can you focus on something else, maybe? What about, hm, I don’t know, being Spider-Man?”

The question hits Peter hard. Compared to high school, being Spider-Man as a young adult trying to get an engineering degree wasn’t a piece of cake. He couldn’t _ not _study, or he’d fail. He couldn’t ditch his Stark Internship because The Man himself continuously hinted at a job offer if he kept his head out of the clouds. He couldn’t stop thinking about MJ because it’s MJ and he anyone even asked him how he really felt about her, he wouldn’t be able to answer.

“I know I haven’t been Spider-Manning frequently, but I’m exhausted, Ned. Plus, the city seems to be doing fine, and there are other superheroes that can save the day.”

“Okay, I guess but-”

“If you’re going to give me a speech about responsibility, please just stop because you’re not the first person who’s thrown that my face.” Peter groans. 

Ever since he was bitten by a radioactive spider, _ seven years ago, _ his entire life had been about saving everybody else, about grasping at the opportunity to protect the city. After watching his Uncle Ben die before his eyes, he never stopped imagining the endless possibilities people dying on his own account, so he swore to protect everyone and use his powers to make sure something like that couldn’t happen again. 

But, of course, it happened again. With Gwen. Again. Right before his eyes.

Those were two running images that he could never escape, and no one could possibly understand how it felt, how it ate him alive every time he put on the mask. Every time he swung around the city, he moved in fear that he would be too late, too sloppy, not enough to save the world. So he slowed down on the patrols. He stopped looking for crime in each corner of New York City. Because there was no point in trying if he knew he would fail. 

“I was just going to say, Peter, that stopping your gig as Spider-Man doesn’t make you stop having fun. And you’ve been absolutely not fun the past few weeks.” 

“I miss MJ, man. It’s killing me. Like physically killing me.” 

“I mean, we’re all busy. It’s our third year! I miss Betty all the time. She doesn’t stop doing work for the local news channel, but that doesn’t mean she hates me.” 

“She’s your girlfriend, Ned, of course, she doesn’t hate you.”

“Well, MJ’s your best friend, so the argument might even be stronger. Do you even talk to her?”

“No.”

“Then why the _ hell _are you complaining? Text her, Peter! I love you and all, but you’re being an idiot because you know MJ would drop everything if you just reached out to her.” Peter picks at his pancakes, frowning because he took too long to eat them and now it’s sucked up all the syrup passing the threshold of perfectly soggy to just plain sad, and he chuckled to himself because this very dish represented his mood to the tea. 

Peter Parker’s life felt like a soggy pancake too soaked in syrup and sadness to be enjoyed. 

* * *

Peter paced around his living room anticipating the upcoming conversation he’d be having with MJ because, after a while, he swallowed his pride and decided to text her to hang out. Just them.

Peter and MJ, MJ and Peter. 

He calculated thousands of outcomes and scripted out the scene in his head, the moment he heard her comforting two-three-two knock on his door, Peter froze and had forgotten every single word in the English language. He remained frozen for so long that he hears MJ call out, “_Parker, you there?" _ and snaps back to his senses.

“Hey,” he smiles as he swings the door. She smiles, walks in making herself comfortable, and places a bag of assorted chocolates on the coffee table - as if they hadn’t avoided each other since the semester started. “Happy Halloween’s eve, dork.” 

“You too, MJ,” he can’t stop himself from smiling at her because he couldn’t even remember the last time they spent quality time together and she’s finally there, in the flesh, right in front of him. 

“So….” she breaks his stare. “What did you wanna do?” 

“Um, I just wanted to hang out. Maybe just chill? I don’t know. Anything. Did you have a preference?” 

“Well, you _ are _ 21 now. Alcohol in the fridge? I can make a drink. The Peter Parker cocktail,” she references the drink she created almost exactly a year ago and his heart jumps because he remembers that night. The night they ran away from Ned and Betty, got tattoos and piercings, and _cuddled _for the first time. He even remembers Ned’s face when he walked into the living room at 3 in the morning witnessing his best friends coupled on the couch.

“Sure,” he smiles. 

A few drinks pass, and the two are chatty. Finally catching up on MJ’s Europe tour, her venting about her parents forced her to dress up and put on makeup at their business galas, and the different museums she visited. He talked about helping Aunt May with her garden, about trying to spend quality time with Betty while Ned was away, and even about the night Peter visited Gwen at the cemetery.

“How was it?” 

“It was...good, actually. I think she’d be really proud of the progress I’ve made, all things considered.”

“That’s really great, Peter,” her hand grazed his. They smile at each other, but the static feeling turns into complete shock and they pull away almost immediately. 

He didn’t mention Harry, and she didn’t mention the dates he went on. Nothing mattered except for the fact that Peter had missed this feeling, missed being around her energy, missed being teased for the smallest things he’d do. At that moment, they could be the only two people in the world and Peter wouldn’t even notice because he’d be too busy exploring her the way she talked, the way you’d only notice her tone of voice shifting if you were really paying attention, and the way she would hold back from laughing at his jokes because she could never admit that Peter Parker is actually hilarious.

Hours pass, and it’s well past midnight when MJ lifts her feet from Peter’s lap, stands up, and smiles. “I should go now.” 

He didn’t want her to. In fact, that was the last thing he wanted. He wanted to tell her how he felt about her, how he couldn’t even find the proper words to explain it. How he admires her so much that he could implode. How after months of loneliness and feelings of incapability, MJ’s presence made him feel like he was on top of the world. But he didn’t. 

“Oh, yeah. It’s late,” he scratches the back of his head and walks her to the door. She puts her coat on, then her shoes. She scruffs the top of his hair, gives him a toothy smile, and lets the silence linger until she speaks up.

“Parker?”

“Yeah?”

“I know we haven’t talked in a while, but tonight was fun. I’m sorry I’ve been busy, but we’re still friends.”

He smiles. “The best.” He seems her face fall. A beat. She takes a deep breath and her eyes glisten at him, an emotion Peter couldn’t decode. But she was out the door before he could say anything else.

* * *

** _Harry: Hey, Peter! You down to hit up a bar after work/your internship?_ **

Peter: yeah sure dude. miss you here btw. just not the same </3

** _Harry: At least you don’t have to compete with someone for Stark’s favorite, amiright?_ **

Peter: yeaaaaah. tooootallly right *coughs* kiss ass *coughs*

** _Harry: See ya later runner up!_ **

Later that evening, Harry and Peter meet at a pub blocks from Oscorp. Peter learns that Harry’s been having a rough time cleaning his father’s mess, but he doesn’t ask for details since he basically knows everything, being the one to expose Norman to the police. 

“I actually came here to, uh, ask you something Peter,” he clinks their second round of beers. Peter looks up at his friend and ex-co-worker, eyebrows raised. “I just wanted to ask if...you’d be okay with me asking MJ out.” 

Oh. 

“Why- what do you- why are you asking me?” he looks down. 

“To be honest, I’ve kind of been into her, for a bit, well actually, for a while. Like, since you introduced us last year, and well, sometimes I think she’s into me, then I see the way you are together and, well, I honestly thought there was something there. So...this is kind of just me, confirming that there’s nothing there and that I can ask her out.”

Harry Osborn is many things, but a nervous wreck is not on that list, so when Peter listens to him stumble his words talking about MJ, he understands. And he thinks about the many times he and MJ have labeled each other as friends. Best friends, and nothing more. He can’t stop MJ from being happy with someone who could probably give her more than Peter could ever try.

Peter doesn’t lie. He doesn’t say there’s _ nothing there_, but he doesn’t say no to Harry. 

“MJ and I are just friends, Harry.” 

“Right. Sweet. Thanks, Peter. This was really hard to do.”

“I could tell,” he jokes. For the remainder of their time at the bar, they don’t mention it again.

But later that night, Peter swings around New York City in his suit, looking for any sound or noise to distract him from thinking about Michelle Jones.

* * *

On a cold winter night during the break, Peter couldn’t stop another death. It was a stranger, but it hurt all the same. He didn’t know why his senses couldn’t predict the next step of the gunman, but before he knew it, a gunshot pierced his own leg, and the whimpering cries and violent coughing of an older man had ceased.

At that moment, he knew Spider-Man had to stop. 

* * *

“Can you believe he announced retirement?” Harry, befuddled, starts a conversation on Spider-Man as the fifth TV channel Peter had flipped to display the same breaking news over and over again. “I just can’t believe it.”

“I can,” MJ announces, casually. 

“What do you mean? He’s a beast! He stops crimes before crimes even happen sometimes.”

“Hmm, I think he peaked a bit. Like maybe last year, or so,” Betty chimes in. Peter and Ned stay silent about the situation. “His appearances had been less frequent way before he even announced this.”

“He said he can rely on the Avengers and Fantastic Four to keep up with New York. Does he not love the city anymore?” Harry scoffs. 

“Loving the city and saving the city isn’t the same thing, Harry,” MJ says firmly. 

“He’s a superhero, though.”

“Yeah, babe, but he’s still human.” 

* * *

Peter loses his job at the Daily Bugle because Spider-Man retired. He doesn’t mind because he hates Mr. Jameson anyway, and plus he’s started to establish a closer relationship with Mr. Stark. He’d even met with him more than the intended once a quarter, and Mr. Stark even stopped _ hinting _about a job for post-grad, and just talked about it like it was common knowledge.

“When you work here-”

“After college, I’ll have an office ready-”

“We could also work on some prototypes for-”

He couldn’t complain about how his life had been going. Sure, Spider-Man’s retirement ate away at his conscience, but with the reassuring words from Aunt May and Ned, he felt better. His mind felt lighter. He was a lot happier, despite the one downside on his road to self-reparation: his friendship with both Harry and MJ.

The semester after Harry asked for Peter’s blessing were the worst because MJ had actually agreed to go on dates with Harry, they made their relationship official in April, and they were attached at the hip. Peter was devastated, to say the least - upset, pining, and jealous if anyone asked for more. He couldn’t handle the way she talked about Harry, the way she laughed at his jokes, the way she had changed her style and wore dresses and makeup more often. He never thought about MJ being in love and how it would change everything, mainly because he thought one day maybe MJ would be in love with him. 

Perhaps his attitude was too obvious, too annoying because, for the first time since high school, Ned snapped at him.

“You gotta fucking quit it, Peter,” Ned offers. Peter looks up from his phone, realizing he’d been stalking Harry and MJ’s social media and posts (the ones that he refused to double-tap because yes, he’s being petty). “She’s happy. Come on. Have you ever seen her act like this before?”

_ Yeah, but when we used to spend alone time together. _

He must have thought out loud because Ned took a deep, irritated breath. 

“Peter, _ used to. _ It’s done. It’s not your fault you never did anything about it. MJ basically _ waited _for you.” Peter puts his phone down and pushes his body backward, taken aback at his friend’s statement.

“What?”

“Look, I never told you because she begged me, and I’m a good friend. I also never told her what you’d be saying either, okay?”

“Okay…”

Ned sighs. “MJ liked you since she met you, Peter. She didn’t say anything because you were in love with someone else. Then, when Gwen died, she respected your boundaries. Then you acted all fucking weird and touchy, and she got confused. She was sad. She talked to me a lot, and even Betty. We said for her to wait until you said something because we all thought you were fragile, that you just needed time. But you never did, Peter.”

“I tried to say something, but she pushed me away! Then she started talking to Harry, and how could I possibly compete with Harry Osborn?”

“MJ’s not a competition, Peter. She loves you. She probably always will. But you went ahead and told Harry to ask her out, so what can you do but just watch now?”

“What the hell, Ned?! Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

“Because you never listened! Never. I tried to push you so many times, but you were too afraid to do anything. And now you can’t anymore. I’m sorry, but it’s true. And you need to move on.”

* * *

If Peter knew ahead of time that his 22nd birthday would be the last good day he had with his best friends, he would have done everything in his power to document those moments, so he could look back at it and not think about the following moment that changed their dynamic forever. 

It started out like any other celebration at Aunt May’s apartment. Peter, of course, arrived earlier to help set up. 

“So when will your friends arrive? Your couple of couples,” May chuckles to herself. She sees Peter’s lackluster laugh and carries on.

“I don’t know. I don’t even wanna do this, May. I’ll just feel lonely,” he said. “Kind of what I’ve felt all year and all summer.”

“Oh, sweetie,” she stopped setting down the plates. “You should still celebrate life. Always.” 

"Right.”

“Is this about MJ?” she whispers. 

“And Harry.”

“You know, she’s happy.”

“Yeah. Really happy. Just wish it was me that made her happy.”

“You do make her happy, Petey.” She isn’t wrong, but it doesn't feel right. Peter distanced himself from MJ because he couldn’t look at her without feeling regret. He should have said something, but he never did, and now she’s in love with someone else. And Peter never even had the chance to show her what they could have been like.

Their conversation was cut short by a couple of couples that strolled in. The night persisted, they laughed and joked. They congratulated Betty for getting an official spot at everyone’s favorite local news channel, and Harry for slowly getting Oscorp back and running. They talked about how MJ was to study abroad for the entire fall semester, to do international journalism. They gushed when Harry claimed that distance couldn’t get in the way of their relationship (which was going strong, by the way, just in case they forgot to mention it again). And although things were changing a bit for the senior year, he was lucky to have Ned by his side still, always.

Continuing on the celebration, they all shower Peter with gifts. Aunt May, as always, provided Peter with new clothes (and he couldn’t complain because his Aunt had really great style). Ned gifted Peter with new film for his camera, claiming that 22 is too old to be giving someone Legos. Betty handed over a picture frame that unfolded into two photographs: the selfie of their first time hanging out without Ned how awkward and stiff they were, and a candid from Betty’s 21st birthday of Peter giving Betty a piggyback ride at their favorite bar. He laughs, remembering it as the first night Betty Brant had ever blacked out from alcohol. 

MJ and Harry _ shared _ a gift. Peter opens the envelope to see a card scribbled with quick greetings. He unwrapped the box and revealed a nice smelling cologne. 

“Thanks.”

“No problem, dude! Picked it myself,” Harry laughs. Peter, disappointed at the gift, brushed away how he felt and changed the subject to play games. As per usual, MJ is the most competitive and won everything except for Mario Kart, which Betty was surprisingly excellent at. 

In between each game, they’d crack jokes and chat about the future, about how they were entering their last year of undergrad. They talked about how things were changing already, but it was a good thing their group was strong like life was their group against the world and they were invincible. 

They ended the night with a few drinking games until Aunt May decidedly went to bed, and they all decided to call it a night. Betty and Ned hug Peter one more time before taking off. Harry fist bumps him and pulls MJ next to him to leave, but she whispers for him to go downstairs and that she’d needed to talk to Aunt May about travel tips.

Once everyone was out of the living room, it was just the two of them. But it was different, no doubt. 

“You really thought I’d leave without giving you an MJ-stylized gift?” she jokes. He perks up and smiles. She walks to the kitchen and grabs a rolled-up poster decorated with a black bow and hands it to Peter. 

He unravels a painting of her, Peter, and Ned dressed as Leia, Han, and Luke. Peter tried to hold himself from crying until he sees the etching on the bottom right corner, “_ it starts with us_, by michelle jones.” He sobs. He's drunk and he's sobbing in front of his best friend.

Granted, Peter should have seen the reaction coming, but at that exact second, he didn’t care. He needed to put it out there and take the risk. He crashes his lips against MJ, placing one hand on her cheek and the other on her back, pulling her closer. She’s caught off guard, falling into the kiss, grazing her hand against his cheek until she came back to her senses and pulled away.

“Stop it, Peter. Don’t.” She was firm. “You can’t do this to me.” 

“I’m... I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You _ weren’t _ thinking, Peter. I’m happy, okay? You can’t do this to me. Not you. You don’t know how long it took for me to get over you. You don’t know how much it hurt me, how much it still hurts me that you can’t even look at me sometimes. You know that?” her voice trembles, but she continues. “You don’t know how I felt, you never considered it. You suffered, a lot, I know, and I don’t blame you. But you never stopped to think about my feelings. About how much you used me. How you would always cuddle me, how you kissed my forehead sometimes, how you held my hand during movie nights. It wasn’t fair. I thought it was something, and then you told Harry we were _ nothing _.

“So that’s what this is. Nothing. And you know what? I don’t know if I can even look at you right now. Or ever.” She’s in tears, and he’s speechless. 

“I’m sorry, MJ.”

“Yeah, Parker, I know. You always are.” she storms off. 

And that’s the last time he sees her.

* * *

Peter: i’m sorry mj.

Peter: i don’t know what i was thinking. please respond.

* * *

Peter: have a safe flight, mj. I hope you find more peter parker lookalike birds.

* * *

Peter: it’s halloween and ned and betty wanted to match with each other. can’t even be a trio costume anymore.

* * *

Peter: happy 22nd birthday, mj. sometimes, i forget you’re a baby because you’re more mature than i am.

_MJ: Thank you._

* * *

Peter: listen, mj, i know i’ve said this a bunch but i’m sorry. i don’t know… i miss you. i shouldn’t have said anything or done anything.

_ MJ: Peter, please stop. I can’t. I don’t want to. Just stop. _

And he stops. 

* * *

MJ returns from study abroad, but she doesn’t ask to see him and he doesn’t ask to see her. 

Sometimes, Ned and Betty would hang out with MJ and Harry, but Ned would come home with no updates and a shrug. It wasn’t Peter’s business anymore. 

Two months pass on, however, and Ned notices how much it hurts Peter to witness the group continue to be a group without him, so Ned and Betty eventually stop seeing MJ and Harry altogether. 

* * *

It’s Aunt May’s birthday, and Peter has dinner with her but she accidentally mentions that MJ greeted her, and quickly apologizes. Peter doesn’t say it’s okay, but they both know it hurts.

* * *

It’s graduation and Ned’s and Peter’s families celebrate at a fancy restaurant. He looks up from his menu and sees MJ, staring at him. They smile at each other for a while, and she sends him a soft smile and tilts head. They hold each other's gaze, somehow having a conversation without even speaking. Not fifteen seconds later, Harry takes her hand, and she walks away.

Somehow, that look was enough for Peter to understand that it was the last time he'd see Michelle Jones.

* * *

Peter watches Michelle’s life in pictures, online. He sees that she’s gotten a job at the New York Times, and he’s proud. He even comments on the post, but she doesn’t reply. She doesn’t even like it. 

He sees that Michelle moves into Harry’s penthouse after graduation.

He sees them celebrate their two-year anniversary. 

* * *

Peter tries to date people, but it doesn’t work out.

* * *

He sees they get a dog on their third anniversary. They've named it Rocky, and Michelle's holding the puppy in her arms. He zooms into the picture and finds a ring.

They’re engaged. 

He unfollows her and Harry. 

* * *

Peter decided after two years of living with his best friend and his girlfriend, it was time to move out.

He sits on the floor of his new unfurnished apartment, alone. He looks through his boxes and sees the Spidey suit. He thinks of how he’s finally put himself first, how he’s finally free of the anxieties that once impaired him from being a superhero. 

He thinks of MJ, and how she inspires him endlessly, how she believed in Spider-Man without even knowing it was Peter the entire time. 

He goes to work and talks to Mr. Stark about Spider-Man’s return, and of course, Mr. Stark knew the entire time it was him. They repair his suit together. 

And after a few months, Spider-Man swings again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there ya have it. poor parker luck, isn't it?
> 
> comments would be appreciated! thank you all. <3 
> 
> xoxo


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